I had a bad day. I was on Day #2 of no smoking and I was dying. All the literature I've read says that cravings only last a few minutes and to do something else until it passes. Well for fucks sake, I had an urge/craving all damn day! All I wanted to do was rip the patch off and go have a cigarette. I don't remember having this hard of a time in January when I quit for 32 days. I just don't.
I told The Trainer I wanted to blow up the freaking building today and then asked if he would make something up for me and he said he would.
5 stair runs
200 cal on bike
200 sit ups
5 stair runs
Good Lord! Not only did it kick my ass, but it took me about 60 minutes to complete. Holy fricking hell it was insane. I am still beat down from it. Although, the beat down feeling could also be the headache I've had all freaking day.
Also, I caved and went to the store to buy a pack of cigarettes on my way home. I've smoked two of them. I'm taking them to work tomorrow and giving them to my Co-worker. I'm not going to beat myself up over, I'm just going to pick up the pieces and start again. I have a desire not to smoke somewhere inside of me and I'm determined to find it and hang onto that.
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